I don't know how much of this is meant to be kept under wraps, so I'm erring on the side of caution. I'm sorry if this ends up being confusing or vague; I'll fill in the blanks when I'm sure I can.
I got an email yesterday from one of the publishers that I'm working with, offering me what is, in essence, a pretty significant promotion as an editor. It would mean more responsibility and more work -- lots more work.
Just reading the offer dropped me onto that trembling line between euphoria and terror. It's a feeling I've had before, a sign that something wonderful is within my grasp, if only I can be brave enough to reach for it, and strong enough to hold it. I feel like a young bird, balanced on the edge of the nest, dreaming of flight but uncertain of my wings.
But as I was reminded, in talking to my friends, sometimes you can't let the cost of failure rule you. Sometimes, you have to just let go, and trust in yourself.
I accepted the offer. I stepped over the edge.
Just now, in the time before the full weight of the responsibility is handed over, I feel a little like I'm falling. But I refuse to look down, because I am trusting my wings to unfurl before I land.