Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Ugly History

It's a joke I see pretty often, in various incarnations: Friends help you clean up after a party.  Real friends help you clean up after a murder. Best friends promise to clean up your browser history after you die.

And boy, am I going to need that.

So far today, I have researched:
  • Scotch (the drink)
  • Billy Joel
  • B√∂sendorfer pianos
  • Straightjackets
Which is a weird little list, but not all that terrible, I suppose. But then earlier this week, I was researching butt plugs, dildos, and cock cages.

I don't even have a boyfriend.

As might be assumed from the fact that about two weeks ago, I spent a half-hour or so trying to ascertain a reasonable, ball-park rate for a rent boy who makes housecalls. (Fact-checking that story also led me into some research on the gay porn industry and -- bizarrely -- custom-built refrigerators.)

Also in December: breeds of roses, recipes for red velvet cake, and military tour/leave policies.

I suppose it could be worse.

I could be editing murder mysteries.

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