Wednesday, October 2, 2013

What I Know

"Write what you know."

It's a funny thing for me to say, isn't it? I mean, I'm a mostly heterosexual, cis-gendered woman, and yet I write mostly m/m romances and erotica. Many of which are sci-fi or fantasy, taking place in worlds that have never existed. I am certainly not writing what I know.

Or am I?

I know how it feels to touch a man's body. I know the slide of muscle under skin, the scrape of late-night stubble, the almost surreally smooth texture of an erect penis. I know the scents and the tastes.

I know what it's like to fall in love. To think about someone obsessively and wonder if they feel the same. To feel my body responding to their nearness. To see the colors of the world actually brighten when my love is returned.

The things that I know inform everything I've ever written.

I know what it's like to want to protect someone you love.

I know how it feels to be afraid and mistrustful.

I know what it's like to make assumptions, and then have them kick you in the face.

I know about wanting to keep part of yourself hidden.

I know how it feels to crave something to the point of addiction.

I know about wishing someone would notice you, even though they're out of your league.

I know how it feels to be utterly exhausted, clinging desperately to the only thing that's keeping you going.

I know what it's like to mourn, and to be betrayed.

I know what it's like to be angry and proud, and I know what it's like to have my world turned upside-down.

And in writing all these things, I've learned even more -- mostly about myself.

What do you know?

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